I’m sure many of you have, like me, have taken many
a cheesy quiz online. Usually it tells you something like “Which Spice Girl Are
You?” or “Should I Get off the Couch Today or Take More quizzes?”. My least
favorite question from these are always when you have to answer what your
friends would say. Often it is “How would your friends describe you?”. I really
hate this question because I never know how to respond.
I’m a fairly introspective person. I overthink
everything I do and say, and I constantly question what type of person I am
and who I would like to be. But for the life of me, I can’t answer a simple
Buzzfeed question about how my friends view me.
I was thinking about this today when I was
writing in my journal about my friends I made during study abroad. I was
thinking about how much I miss them and describing them in my journal. I began
to wonder how they would write about me. What memories stick out when they
think of me?
Because even when I think of myself, I think
that I change so much day today, even moment to moment. Sometimes I’m silly and
fun, the next day, I may be quiet and not very talkative. Do people think I’m
obnoxious, loud, chill or funny? I would lean towards goofy and short.
Of course this applies to more than just my study abroad friends. I often wonder where I stand with people, even those who I've known for much longer. This probably comes from
having been surrounded by a lot of fake people throughout my childhood and on
into- well today. People may be nice and seem to like you one day, then they're never inviting you to anything and complaining about how you act. When they
agree to hang out, it feels like you’re practically forcing them. Which sucks,
because if someone doesn’t like you, you would want them to be honest so you’re
not wasting your time.
All of this is back to my point that it is hard
to know how others think of you. What side of yourself do you always show to a
person or a group? Did you meet them on an off day that you forgot about, but
that is their lasting impression of you? I myself am guilty of holding first
impressions against people, until I am reminded that they probably forgot about
that one thing they did once. I want to be more mindful of how I think of
others, giving them the chances they deserve to give the impression of
themselves that they want to give. And maybe someday I’ll be able to tell
Buzzfeed if my friends would describe me as book smart, a jokester, sassy or spontaneous.
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| Maybe they think of the Jillian who makes flower crowns. |
